Honestly it happens to all of us, life is crazy and busy and stressful sometimes and our children almost get put in the back of our minds when we have big issues to sort out. As a result, they have less time with you, less connection, less bonding and your relationship can become either strained or distant.
Many parents will try to strengthen their relationship with their children by buying them material objects such as toys, letting down their boundaries and rules such as giving into more screen time, sweets etc, and by enrolling them in all kinds of clubs and activities that they think will make their child happy... all in an attempt to make their child love them more as they are getting what they want. But this never really works!
The number one thing your child needs from you is QUALITY TIME. Not just time together in the same room but looking at a screen or on a play date with friends where you just talk to the other parents. Your child needs 1 to 1 focused attention without distractions. They need you to really be present in having fun with them, laughing together, listening to their concerns, being a shoulder to cry on.
Even in the hard and busy times, it’s important for us to set aside time for our children. If you feel you have no time, sit down and evaluate the previous days and see if you had any wasted time that day that could have been spent connecting with your child…
Did you scroll through Instagram or watch Netflix as a way to distract yourself from the problems? Did you place more importance on having a perfectly clean house than giving your child attention? Did you skip bathtime to get your child to bed early so you could focus on your work?
We’ve done all these things in the past. But we came to realise that we had our priorities wrong, and where once we thought we had no time, now we realise we have lots of time we are just using it wrong.
I encourage you to notice when you are falling into these patterns and behaviours, and push them aside so that you can spend time with your child.
📺Turn off the TV at mealtimes and instead sit around the table and have honest conversations with your child where you can really get to know their heart better.
🧹Instead of ignoring your child during housework, get them involved! Let them help you load the dishwasher or mop the floor and notice how just doing simple tasks together can strengthen your bond.
🛁Prioritise a full bedtime routine, especially if you’re away from your children all day at work or them at school. Play with them at bath time, excitedly pick out pjs with them, read some lovely calming books whilst cuddling, pray with them and over them as they drift off to sleep.
Do you do any of these things with your children? Has it affected your relationship and increased your bond?
If you want help on ways to make meaningful long lasting memories with your child then follow us on Instagram @ouradventurefamily to get some ideas (but remember no scrolling in front of your kids ok!!!! 😂)
And if you want to plan an adventure with your children where you can really spend quality time with them and strengthen your bond, check out our new Ebook : https://www.ouradventurefamily.co.uk/product-page/family-adventure-ideas-planning-ebook
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